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sâmbătă, 25 septembrie 2010

Is not a ghost and I am not crazy...

De dimineata soarele zambea duios, plimbanu-si privirea si urmarindu-ma prin padure pana spre seara.Inaintam grabita si uluita pe potecile sfinte care chicoteau incet pasarelelor.Fugeam dupa soare sperand ca nu-l voi lasa sa fuga de pe cerul meu, mergeam spre acel curcubeu al fericirii ce se revarsa rapid si se scurgea printre brazii inalti si batrani. Sperita ca-l voi pierde alergam, batand adanc pietrele gri desprinse de pe poteci ce sareau speriate din calea mea.Vedeam acel fluture mov cu roz gigantic si sclipitor cum paraseste cerul si ma lasa in misterul noptii.Bezna se asterne asupra mea, in stanga in dreapta in fata in spate numai copaci intuneric si van-
tul care alinta frunzele, brazi innalti batrani ce ma analizau cu grija.
Raman in umbra asezandu-ma sprijinita cu spatele de un stejar inalt si batran ce simteam ca ma ocroteste.Stand acolo am inceput sa cant o melodie ce mi parea ca se aude din departare , toate urechile padurii ma auzira si incercau sa ma gaseasca , purtate pe notele muzicale ale melodiei mele buflitele zburau vrajite catre mine, iepurasii, lupii, serpii, ursii, toti incercau sa caute nestingheriti acel loc magic si acea persoana care canta sub un stejar.Inocenta si naiva cantam incontinu, nestiind ca toata padurea este in cautarea mea , cantam in liniste asteptand ca el sa renasca cu aurora lui de sfant din nou pe-naltul cerului ,dar mai era mult pana atunci sau cel putin asa cred...
Luna intra sfioasa sub un nor negru si ma lasa singura acum abea putem deslusii mirajul ochilor.O bufnita ma acompania de pe o craca apropita.Rdic ochii mari si tristi din pamantul negru si m-am uitat in fata doi ochii mari rosii si fiorosi iesira dintr-un tufis..urmarindu-ma cu atentie.Siluete dansau balet in stanga iar in dreapta masacru ,parca era un fel de ritual o batalie unde cel mai puternic ramane in picioare, siluete se impingeau si se muscau,Deaodata am auzit un marait ce venea fioros inspre mine pasii mari si grei ai unui animal feroce se auzeau calcand pamantul, ochii gri priveau insetati in jur iar coltii ii ieseau din gura.Imi stransesem picioarele in maini si ma rugam sa treaca sa nu ma vada sa nu ma auda incercam sa imi opresc inima sa pulseze si sa nu ma misc.Luna iesi de sub patura de nori sa ma ocroteasca animalele raman paralizare in tacere.Am pus mana pe un bat si l-am aprins cu un chibrit, am inceput sa alerg dar incotro sa apuci cand potecile se desfac inaintea ta ca o caracatita cu tentaculele imprastiate pretutindeni , muntii mai innalti imi zambeau sadic si ma impiedic de o craca ajungand in paradisul padurii.
Luna pamantului in undele ei fantomatice ma ademenea la ea .O imagine identica cu a mea...acelasi par, aceiasi ochii, aceiasi tristete....inchid ochii apoi vad refexia unui baiat brunet cu ochii caprui dar imaginea nu e inca destul de clara apa sa limpezit mai bine si i-am putut deslusit chipul...nu imi venea sa cred pulsul inimi mele, era bine conturat in refexia apei l-am admirat cateva secunde dar parca nu era indeajuns am intins mana vrand sa apuc persoane de sub apa dar undele mi-l alungara din retina il vedeam cum se scurgea la vale ramanand doar amintirile, am stat debusolata pe malul apei cateva ore in liniste si bezna.Dar deodata ceva ma apuca de mana un miraj un vis o fantoma ma trage sub o salcie din apropiere ma imbratiseaza il sarut clipe de neuitat si stam asa pana dimineata ...Ma trezesc speriata si nu il gasesc sa ma alinte ma duc pe marginea lacului sa ii caut chipul dar era de negasit ca intrat in pamant... padurarul nu intelegea ce creatura a nopti am vazut zicea ca am visat ca mi sa parut dar eu stiu sigur ca nu e asa el vroia sa ma duca "acasa" in aceea incapere cu gratii la fereastra peretii albi si un pat intr-o camera goala si alba din cand in cand ii  vad zambetul pe peretii albi ai ospiciului nimeni nu intelege eu aici intro camera alba visandu-l iar el in padure cu natura cautandu-ma doar noi doi intelegem doar noi doi ne stim...

vineri, 10 septembrie 2010

Gone in fog, in vain





I stay there like Holden Caulfield "The Catcher in the Rye" standing recumbent on glass looking on sky trying to find myself in these smoke, beeng seek of world , standing and play with the pierce of my tangue thinking why I am here  ,Just why I live, why no one can`t be just like me, I don`t understand it is normal to dream something all your life to dream at happines with "the one" and when you think you found it , it is just for thirteen minutes and then disappear in fog just like the smoke of a cigarette is just like Halloween just one night in year why is not Halloween evert night to see witches and evil every where ghosts all around you and vampires God i love vampires they are the moust beautiful kind of creature of theseworld ,if I think more  I love all the creepy things I want a spider(black widow), a crow, a black cat, I want a vampire boyfriend who bite my neck and taste my blood.I want to paint my hair with black and pink or purple, have two pierces in my lips one in my tangue , but let come back at my subject may be I`m not good enough for the person I think I love and if I`m not how should I know but I feel that he is "the one" even if he is not but I know that he like me even for the first time he saw me so I think now he loves me but how could I know when we are OK and then he disappear and don`t take any sing of life may be he is not in tawn in I don`t belive make me any test you want but let me see you , let me touch you , let me fell you , let me talk to you , let me know that you realy love me and you don`t love at me only "that side"  when I`m feel like in haven when I want you to never go , actually I want you to stay with me all the time  I want to see you every second but I don`t know what I want now I open my eyes of these sweet dream and I see me again Catcher in the Rye but now the rain starts  .And I stay just like older time , whaching all the beautigul moments spended with you and crying.

Attempt of Hip-Hop


I`m standing there in these couch
Thinking on these beat!Ouch!
Seeing how you lose your breath nigger!
It make`s me feel so good but I pull the trigger
And break one of these fingers
I`m not a selfish I come from the streets
You do, you know what that mean
Is not a good writing
But just let me tell you something
I`m not a silly so you can`t talk all that cheap stuff
I`ve got my own style rapper and my own beat.
All these mother fuckers on TV sing about 2 PAC
But when they get on these stage they`ve got stage fright
Don`t know what they said 
But God they don`t have even Jesus faith!


Ach or not!

The sun Fall of her eyes wake up her from sweetes dreams.
She take a shower and dress up looking for something special to make this day more happy than it was.Listening the rain fall in her window get on messenger and talk with friends, it was bored she wants out to dance naked in rain felling these drops on her hair, her neck, her breast, her skin.
Finally she go out and meet with someone.Some kind of friend she think.The sun come to see us and the rain try to stop.We hug, we kissed, but this time was different, it was looking better although he cut his hair, he took my hand and strart to kiss me ,his lips were gorgeous, he bite my neck my lip, I make him a sing on his neck to hope he will not forget. My body wanted to explode the sun setting dawn and the sky make purple it was magic I kiss him last time with my eyes close and I hug him.
But when i open my eyes i saw ash I was lonely feeling the wind blow in my hair and the rain fall on me.Standing next one big three on a bench watching the graves and think If I die I hope to find him shoothing :"take my hand I will make you feel like in haven."I look on a mirror and see my neck and then I realise it wasn`t a dream that spot is definitely real.

vineri, 3 septembrie 2010

Confusion


I don`t know just some times I feel lonley
Feel like i will fall in a black hole without end
And I whant to be at the end of the world
Just me and a special person.
Somewere up on a crag
Looking on sky
Other times
I want to be with friends
In the middle of the frorest
Next the fire wach the threes and hear the birds
Drinking Angely of chocolate
 Other times
 I want to dance
To move my boddy
That make me feel free, 
 I want to party because
 I love dance,
 I love to live my life
 I realy love to have fun
 I love to be the little mama`s girl
 I want to be free
 I want to fly to jump with parachute of an airplane
To sky,learn to swim make banji jumping, traveling
 I want to meet a vampire,    
 Meet "the one" who`s perfect 4 me 
 Get everything I want                                                                            
 Other time
 I`m seek of all
 I hate every one
 I don`t know what I want now
 I just want to listen my music
 And feel good, forgeting all the people
 Thinking just of me...
 I`m a selfish...but i don`t care
 I care of some people who realy deserve my attention